


Turns Her Tears To Diamond's In Her Crown

by TheYaoiChick



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Arguing, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Insecurity, Jealousy, Self-Doubt, reassuring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-12-01 20:29:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20890421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheYaoiChick/pseuds/TheYaoiChick
Summary: Morgana feels insecure about her relationship with Merlin. After all, how could a simple love hold up to what he shares with Arthur?





	Turns Her Tears To Diamond's In Her Crown

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a lyric from [Prom Queen](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0x03NDSGOTA) by Molly Kate Kestner

It all started with just a simple statement;

  
“I’m going over to Arthur’s tomorrow. Apparently he broke his wall again and needs help fixing it.”

  
“Why can’t Leon help him? Or Gwaine? Lancelot? Elyan? Percival? He has other friends you know, why does it always have to be you?” Morgana asks as she stabs her steak with vigor.

  
Merlin blinks before saying slowly, “Well yeah, but Leon and Lancelot are busy. Elyan and Percival won that cruise ship tour thing remember so they aren’t even in the country right now. And Gwaine... Well can you blame Arthur for not wanting to give Gwaine any sort of tool right now. They’re still having a row.”

  
“Well can’t he just hire someone? Which frankly would be the smarter move anyway because unlike you lot they actually know what they’re doing,” Morgana argued.

  
“It’s cheaper to have one of us do it. I don’t see what the big deal is, I don’t mind helping him and it’s not as if we had anything planned for tomorrow,” Merlin said baffled.

  
“That’s just it. You _never_ mind, and even if we _did_ have something planned you’d still go to him as soon as he called! You _always_ go to him as soon as he calls, no matter what your doing or how insignificant what he wants is,” Morgana said as she glared at him.

  
“What the hell Morgana? I’ve never once left one of our plans because of Arthur-- and that time a the carnival doesn’t count cause he had to be taken to the hospital and you were the one who dragged us away and drove us there like a mad woman. He my friend--”

  
**_Scoff_** “Sure. Because _friends_ drop everything to go to their _friends_ side like an over eager puppy when called. Because _friends_ stay up until five in the morning waiting until their _friend_ calls to say they got home okay. Because _friends_ cook a home cooked meal just because their _friend_ got a promotion or to comfort them for being dumped for the hundredth time. Obviously,” Morgana snarked.

  
“Yeah, friends _do_. You act like I only do those things for Arthur when I do them for Gwen, Lancelot and Gwaine all the time. _You_ do most of those things for Gwen and Leon most of the time. So why are you so hung up over the fact I don’t treat Arthur any different?” Merlin asked as he rubbed at his temple.

This is not what he wanted tonight to be like. They were supposed to have a nice dinner, watch that corny romance movie Morgana has been dying to see and maybe have a little _fun_ tonight before bed. Not... Whatever the hell this is turning out to be.

  
“It is different--”

  
“Then please explain to me how!”

  
“Because you don’t look at _them_ they way you look at **_Arthur_**! You don’t even notice do you? How your eyes always track him across the room, and he’s _always_ the first person who’s opinion you look for, as if his opinion could make or break you. How you light up when he comes into the room. You never look at me like that, and I’ve been your girlfriend for two years,” Morgana said as her eyes began to burn. No. No she won’t let him see her cry. Not over this.

  
“You can’t be serious right now can you? You’re what... Jealous of Arthur? Even though I love you? Is that really what you’re telling me? Obviously Arthur is important to me, he’s been my best friend for years! All the things I do for him now I did before you and I even got together. That’s just how our friendship is,” Merlin explained, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible. It may be the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard but shouting over it would only make her think there’s proof in it.

  
“I know... I know you used to have feelings for him. Everyone could see it. I just thought... After you asked me out I thought you had moved on. Now I realise you’ve just been using me as a replacement. You’ll never love me the way you love him, will you?” Morgana said sadly. She could feel the anger leaving her, no matter how much she tried to hold fast to it.

  
“What can I do to show you that you’re wrong? I admit, yeah I may have had feelings for Arthur in the past, but that was years ago. We were just children still and I hadn’t known what love was. Not until we got together,” Merlin said sandwiching one of her hands between his own, looking desperately into her eyes for an answer to make this better. He’d do anything, _anything_, she asked if it would make her smile again.

  
“I don’t know, I just... Don’t know. I _wish_ there was a simple answer, that someone could just snap their fingers and make these feelings go away. Make this doubt go away. You know, before you I never had any reason to question how people felt about me? I had never felt like I was second best to anyone, just someone’s second choice. A backup choice. It’s not a great feeling,” Morgana said as a tear finally escaped her eye.

“Why? It’s not Arthur who I come home to every night. It’s not Arthur I can’t keep out of my head, who I think about and daydream about so much at work that I get scolded. Who I think about in the store, and I come across something I _know_ you’ll love and it just makes me smile, thinking about how you’d react if I came home and surprised you with it. Who I learned how to bake for, because you said offhand once that home baked brownies always tasted better than store or bakery bought because of the emotion behind it. Who made me that sweater for Christmas, you’re first try remember?, and I still wear it as soon as fall hits,” Merlin listed as he placed a hand on her cheek, and gently began to brush the tear away with his thumb.

  
“It’s you I want to see every morning when I wake up and every night when we go to bed. It’s you who I can’t stand being mad at, and do my best to makeup after a fight even if I _am_ right, because I know that we’re both stubborn as hell and someone has to figure out a compromise or we’ll end up circling each other like a pair of dogs,” Merlin said with a smirk, that quickly melted into a smile when she choked out a laugh because that couldn’t have been more true.

  
In fact they’ve done exactly that, before they’d even gotten together, over who was the best doctor from Doctor Who, Nine or Ten. Even though it’s _obviously_ Ten, she never did manage to convince him of it.

  
“And...” Merlin hesitated, and Morgana gripped the wrist of the hand still stroking her cheek in a death grip when he continued, “It’s _you_ who I want to marry someday. Have kids. Grow old together as we snark about all the other old people who are still trying to act young. The one I want to travel the world with like we planned and to take the world by storm in whatever way we can. It’s _you_ I’m in love with. And... If I have to spend the rest of our lives proving it to you in every way I can think of-- even standing in the rain and risk pneumonia like those sappy romance movies you like so much!-- then I will. I’ll do it gladly,” Merlin said as he kissed her forehead.

  
Morgana throws her arms around Merlin’s neck and kisses him proper, and while she knows that they’ll have to talk about this more, probably more than just once because feelings like this don’t just go away, she knows at least this much.

  
He may love Arthur, probably always will despite what he says, but he loves her just as much. That this is a love he’s willing to fight for. So, she’s going to fight for it too. She wants that future. She wants it so badly she can taste it.

  
And in the end, that’s really all that matters. So long as they both want it more than anything, it’ll always be within their grasp.

  
Besides, that speech said there was a proposal in her future. How can she stay upset right now after hearing that?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it~
> 
> Any and all comments make my day, even just extra kudos or a string of emojis 💙


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